BREAKING: World's Longest Fart Recorded at 2 Minutes 42 Seconds
Exclusive footage: The moment that shook the world
In what experts are calling "The Great Gas of 2024," a local resident has shattered all previous fart duration records with an earth-shaking 2 minute and 42 second continuous release. The historic event, captured on our exclusive FND cameras, has left scientists baffled and neighbors permanently relocated.
Unprecedented atmospheric disturbance shakes scientific community
Environmental monitoring stations reported catastrophic readings during the incident, with decibel levels far exceeding recommended safety thresholds established by international health organizations. The sustained acoustic assault forced emergency responders to deploy specialized sound-dampening equipment typically reserved for industrial disasters.
Atmospheric methane concentrations reached levels previously thought impossible for a single-source emission, prompting an immediate response from hazmat teams and environmental protection agencies. Local fauna displayed unprecedented behavioral patterns, with mass evacuations observed across a three-mile radius as seismic monitoring equipment registered tremors consistent with low-grade geological events.
Analysis footage: Scientific gas measurement data
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FART ANALYSIS
💨 Methane Futures
📈 +420% this week
Bean consumption at all-time highs
🔊 Decibel Index
📊 87 dB average
Approaching dangerous levels
🌪️ Wind Speed
💨 45 mph gusts
Hurricane-force farts detected
😷 Mask Sales
📈 +300% surge
Public health emergency declared
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FART OPINIONS
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